Rep. Paul Broun says Evolution is lies straight from the pit of hell

INT. HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES CAFETERIA- LUNCH TIME

The House Science Committee is grabbing lunch. PAUL BROUN approaches, out of breath.

PAUL BROUN (R-GEORGIA)

Hey, guys!

DANIEL LIPINKSI (D-ILLINOIS)

Oh, hey, Paul.

PAUL BROUN (R-GEORGIA)

I thought we were meeting out on the lawn today!?

LYNN WOOLSEY (D-CALIFORNIA)

Oh, uh (barely stifling a laugh) I don’t remember saying that.

PAUL BROUN (R-GEORGIA)

Remember? You told me in the hallway, because I never check my email on account of computers being Parcels of Satan?

LYNN WOOLSEY (D-CALIFORNIA)

Yeah, no, that was — I said we were gonna have a LONG meeting. You must’ve heard me wrong.

PAUL BROUN (R-GEORGIA)

No biggie, I’ll just grab a seat … there’re no chairs left!

BRAD MILLER (D-NORTH CAROLINA)

That’s OK, man, we’re actually wrapping up.

PAUL BROUN (R-GEORGIA)

Aw, MAN. I keep missing these meetings. What did we discuss?

BRAD MILLER (D-NORTH CAROLINA)

Oh, you know, the usze. What to do with this 9,000 year old earth.

LYNN WOOLSEY (D-CALIFORNIA)

(Just giggling outright by this point) Brad, you’re TERRIBLE.

DANIEL LIPINSK (D-ILLINOIS)

Here, man, you can have my seat.

PAUL BROUN (R-GEORGIA)

Oh. OK. You gonna finish your scone?

DANIEL LIPINSKI (D-ILLINOIS)

Yes.

EVERYBODY EXITS EXCEPT PAUL BROUN. PAUL SITS BY HIMSELF FOR A REALLY LONG TIME, DOING NOTHING WHILE THE EARTH GETS INCREDIBLY HOT AROUND HIM.

THE END.

6 Notes